Definition of validating feelings

25-Jun-2017 00:53 by 10 Comments

Definition of validating feelings

We are reassuring them that it is okay to have the feelings they have. By "mirroring" someone's feelings, we show them that we are in tune with them.

“When you give another person the power to define you, then you also give them the power to control you.” ~Leslie Vernick It’s coming up on the anniversary of when I left a relationship that was both my unhealthiest and my greatest catalyst for growth.

For years, I wanted others to confirm that my feelings were okay to have.

And ultimately, the belief that feelings need to be validated to be valid was the cause of my codependency.

But I do know that if you want to have better relationships with people, the skill of emotional validation is extremely useful. Validation allows a person to release their feelings in a healthy, safe and supportive way. Thus it builds bonds of caring, support, acceptance, understanding and trust.

The relationship will be better because with more validation you are going to have less debating, less conflicts, and less disagreement. When a person is feeling down, these bonds are sometimes all that another person needs to begin to feel better and solve their own problems.

She suggests that a child can have problems either because parents are unable to sooth their children due to the child’s over emotionality and /or the over emotionality of the child creates an environment that causes the parents to react in invalidating ways.

One of the most important emotional skills is the skill of validation. Whether it is or ever will be part of the academic or corporate measures of emotional intelligence, I really don't know. But once most people start, and feel safe and validated, they will continue.

We let them know that we respect their perception of things at that moment. Just the other day we took a small boy to the doctor's office and I asked him if he was a little bit scared.

We help them feel heard, acknowledged, understood and accepted. It was obvious by his face that he was scared and I wanted to share, understand, and validate his feeling.

The latter is particularly true of people experiencing difficult times or a loss and of people who are highly sensitive, insecure, have low self esteem or who are easily intimidated.

This is a very necessary tool for dealing with people with Borderline Personality Disorder.

To validate someone's feelings is first to accept someone's feelings - and then to understand them - and finally to nurture them. Invalidation, on the other hand, is to reject, ignore, or judge. Let's say one family member has very high validation needs, or one member is invalidating, or both have high validation needs, or both are invalidating?